Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Heroes too.

Stars the Mighty is a tired boy.  Yesterday he saved little dogs from bad boys.  And now he is tired.  So he will have meat.  With cheese.  And sleep with his new snuggly blanket.  But now, he is gardening the strawberry PopTarts for Girl America, so Rat Child will not eat them.  Stars ate Rat Child's chocolate PopTarts.  But is saving the strawberry ones for Girl America.  Stars is sad.  Because his Dr. Thumbs is sneezing and sneezing and sneezing.  Dr. Thumbs has a cold.  Stars is sure the Evil Squirrels gave Dr. Thumbs her cold.  Stars' picture came today.  For Grandma who loves The Dog.  Stars is wearing his superhero costume because Grandma thinks The Dog is so cute in his superhero costume.  Dr. Thumbs wanted to keep Grandma's picture because Stars was so handsome.  But Stars said, "No Dr. Thumbs, that is Grandma's picture.  You have me and I will give you kisses.  And you can reorder the print."  Dr. Thumbs has made new creations in her lab of sneakiness to help fight the Evil Squirrels trying to take over the world.  Stars calls them Mushy Babies.  And they are cute.  The Evil Squirrels will not suspect them because they are cute.  Stars thinks that is really sneaky.  And he gives them kisses when Dr. Thumbs is not looking.  Rat Child has been happy.  She has been playing with her pack.  And her pack makes Rat Child happy.  Stars hopes she adds cheese to her pack because Stars knows how to work the zipper.  Now Stars is ready for meaties and a nap.  Because Stars the Mighty, the boy hero, is feeling tired.  Stars tells Dr. Thumbs to reorder the picture of her favorite hero, Stars the Mighty, in his costume.  One for Dr. Thumbs and one for Flynn Brightwing who loves Stars and Stars loves Flynn Brightwing.  She smells good.  And she fights the Evil Squirrls but doesn't know it.  Because everyday people can be heroes too.  And Stars loves everyday heroes because they don't get all the kisses and the happy thoughts that costume heroes get all the time, but they still do the right thing and The Man of Light loves them.

Stars the Mighty

Friday, July 18, 2008

Strawberry Pop Tarts

You know, superheroes like Girl America and Stars the Mighty aren't the only ones who like strawberry pop tarts.  Those of us stuck in cubicles with only florescent lighting to guide our days and nights like them too.  Why I can't even tell you how long it's been since I had a good strawberry or cherry pop tart, heated in a real toaster.  Sigh.  The thing about Superheroes...they get all the adventure, all the cool costumes, the great names, the gadgets, the dreamy boyfriends, the fans, cheese.  Heck, even the attention of a SuperVillain or an evil squirrel would almost be worth it compared to walking through life as a practical non-existent.  Who ever notices the woman in the suit?  No one.  And that's okay I guess.  I mean, honestly, I'm much too busy filing paperwork and meeting deadlines.  But you know, every now and again, it's nice to imagine you could be as cool as someone like Girl America and be on first name basis with Stars the Mighty.  But I guess some are destined to be Superheroes, some Sidekicks, some Team Members or Scientists, some Villians, and some of us the Rescueds or Nonexists Until Needed for Plot Advancement or Flashy Hero Action. 

Still, on a positive note, at least maybe I'd get to meet Girl America or Stars the Mighty and get an autograph.  I am starting a collection to see how many heroes I can get autographs from after getting rescued.  So far I've only managed to get some minor Sidekick pics like Boy Amazing or Blue Ring or Taffy Man, but I've got goals.  Some day, I will meet Stars the Mighty.  How amazingly cool will that be?

Flynn Brightwing

Pillow Mode

Rat Child had tired thoughts. 

Rat Child put on pink pajamas, set the Hoard alarm system, and turned back her camo blanket.

And found no pillow.

Rat Child frowned.  Then narrowed eyes.  Stars, where Rat Child pillow?!

Giggling.  Shush!  More giggling.  Shush!

Rat Child tracked the giggling.

And found Stars hiding in The Den.  With Froggy.  And Chicken.  And Hippo.

And Rat Child's pillow.

Stars!  Give Rat Child pillow!

Stars' eyes were huge and his ears were up in Hero Alarm.  Rat Child, how did you find Stars?  Stars was quiet!  Stars was in Sneaky Stealth Mode!  With accompanying sound track!

Rat Child stared at Stars.  Then pointed at Hippo.  Heard.

Stars shushed Hippo!

Rat Child snorted.

Stars gave Hippo an indignant nose poke.  Who let Hippo pass Espionage For Heroes?

Rat Child took pillow.  And went back to camo blanket.

Look, is that Dr. Thumbs' pillow?

Giggling.  Shush!  Giggling.  Shush!

Rat Child covered head with camo blanket.  Stars!


Hippo!  Stop giggling so loudly!

Chocolate Blanket

Rat Child and Dr. Thumbs came back from foraging and put Stars' new blanket on the gliding chair for him to find when he came inside from playing in the sunshine to energize his inner bunny.  Stars found his present quick quick and played with The Ranger.  Stars' new present is a chocolate blanket, but not the eating chocolate, the color chocolate.  It is soft on both sides.  Soft like the puppy Stars is.  Which is why Stars knows this blanket is his present.  All soft blankets belong to Stars.  Now Stars is snuggled in his new chocolate blanket with Duckie and PopTarts, the strawberry kind with pink icing.  Stars knows they're really cherry but he's pretending they're strawberry because he likes strawberry but he has only cherry.  And they are pink.  And pink goes good with a chocolate blankie.  And now Stars is falling asleep so now Stars is done talking to the computer baby.  Uh oh.  Girl America likes chocolate and fuzzy blankets and PopTarts.  Stars will have to hide the PopTarts.  Stars will share the fuzzy chocolate blanket with Girl America because she will give him kisses and cheese.  And maybe strawberry PopTarts for real and not cherry ones pretending to be strawberry but are really cherry.  Dr. Thumbs says, "Sometimes you just need a snuggly and then, there it is."  And that is very wise.  Because the Man of Light is good to the Forces of Good and knows when they need a snuggly because fighting the Evil Squirrels is hard work.  And heroes need snuggly blankets.  And cheese.  And strawberry PopTarts.

Stars the Mighty

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Our Hero Arrives

It was during the summer, seven years ago, that we found our Hero.  The Ranger and Rat Child had forrayed into the countryside in an attempt to track Evil Squirrel movements.  They had also had reports on an individual that seemed promising for the Forces of Good.  Little did they suspect what they would truly find.  The farm was fairly rundown; the people unkind to their four-leggeds.  Rat Child and The Ranger stopped at the pleas of two of the four-leggeds, canines.  They told of the cruelty of the humans, the lack of care and the constant harassment by the younger humans.  The canines asked Rat Child and The Ranger to take their precious little one to a place of safety and love.  Upon meeting this little one, The Ranger knew instantly that something was very different and special concerning him and agreed to bring him back.  It was decided that he would be named Stars for the symbol of hope and guidance which he represented.  Stars continued to grow; running faster, learning more and developing special skills.  At an early age, Stars began to exhibit the defining characteristics of a Hero.  Soon he became known as Stars the Mighty.

A Tuesday Night

Stars is eating his baby ice cream because he is hot.  Dr. Thumbs is holding it for Stars because Stars does not have his own thumbs, he must use someone elses.   Stars told the Forces of Good what Girl America said.  Froggy listens very well.  So does Chicken.  Sometimes Hippo is silly.   Stars told them not to trust the Evil Squirrels just because they are soft and have big eyes and smell good.  Or the Evil Squirrels will eat them.  And take their cheese.  Hippo hid his cheese.  Stars' hand still hurts.  Even Heroes take time to be all better.  Even with kisses.  And cheese.  But the Man of Light loves them and gives them kisses in the sunshine and it will be okay.  Stars must brush his teeth now with the mint sticks so he can give kisses to Girl America when she has vacation time.

Sidekicks Wanted

Girl America here, stopping by after saving a small kitten from almost certain disaster involving prickly pears and a chocolate popsicle.  (Don't ask.)  Stars the Mighty is a hero I admire because, not only does he use his heart and extraordinary powers, he uses his brains.  He has a team.  Teams are important.  Evil villains usually tend to focus their diabolical schemes on destroying the hero.  In the meantime, the team members (I tend to prefer sidekicks as they draw less attention) can sneak in and save the day.  Why do you think Heroes have such flashy constumes?  Trick of the eye and a distraction.  Now, what makes a good sidekick?  The same things that make good team members:  wisdom, loyalty, integrity, courage, and a talent (some would also argue for good snacks).  Everyone has these somewhere inside them, like small seeds.  They grow if you give them Light (i.e., the Forces of Good).  Some choose to develop their gifts for evil.  Squirrels do that.  They look sweet and cuddly, that's their costume.  It lets them live longer and do more damage.  Very clever.  If they appeared as a hurking 200 story tall green monster with claws and teeth, well, we all know how that turns out.  Instant targets.  But if evil seems glamorous or (worse yet because it induces apathy) harmless, then good people, Sidekicks, and even Heroes, sometimes miss the fact that they are indeed evil.  They let them live and sometimes even feed them peanuts.  Dastardly plot!!!  So remember, as Stars the Mighty said, you know heroes (and by extension sidekicks, teammembers, and all good) by  their smell and taste.  Thanks again Stars the Mighty!  You do amazing work out there in the West.  Always proud to know you and share the same skies.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I like PopTarts

I like the ones Dr. Thumbs stores in her lab.  They are pink which is my favorite color even though I am a boy because I am secure in my masculinity.  Which means I am a boy even though I like pink.  Batman likes PopTarts too, but he doesn't tell Superman.  Because Superman might giggle.  I like the shiny wrappers.  They crinkle.  I will have to have Rat Child put PopTarts into my pack because every hero should have PopTarts and cheese.  Not as many PopTarts as cheese because there should always be more cheese.  I think because of the protein content.

Stars the Mighty

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Trials of Properly Equipping A Hero

Rat Child tells him, Heroes need gear.

Rat Child needs gear, he rolls over, Heroes need cheese.

Rat Child pokes him, Heroes fight Evil Squirrels, leap tall buildings, run faster than UPS delivery van thirty minutes before Christmas.  Need gear.

The hero gives dramatic sigh.  Show Stars the pack.

Rat Child gleefully shows him the pack.  Perfectly fitted, aero-dynamic, Evil Squirrel abrasion resistant, and color coordinating with the hero's cape.

He leans forward, sniffing suspiciously.  What is inside?

Rat Child positively dances.  Standard Hero Victory Kit:  cheese, Dr. Thumbs' lucky sock, and Girl America's press picture with autograph.   Sidekick Accessory Pack:  flashlight, handkerchief, cookies.  Rat Child quickly puts it on the hero.

The hero collapses artfully into imitation of roadkill.  Too heavy

Rat Child scowls, suspicious.  Gear not too heavy!

Too heavy, groans the hero.  Can't carry.

Rat Child and Stars stare at each other.

Rat Child sighs dramatically.  How fix?

The hero grins.  Stars should eat the cheese.



Finding Stars

Rat Child has a most amazing ability.  It was when we searched for a hero that she revealed her unique talent for understanding four-leggeds.  While most individuals can accurately interpret the body language of creatures that they have constant contact with, Rat Child can do more.  Upon further questioning, she hesitantly told me of her gift.  She spoke of an accident as a small child and while I will not write in detail of this in these notes, I do feel that the development was gradual from that point forward.  Perhaps it was a natural gift enhanced by pure chance of fate, or maybe it was more than that.  Now she hears them.  The rest of the world seems quite oblivious to the comings and goings of four-leggeds, but for Rat Child, it is as if they could speak aloud like you or I.  They call her Talker because of her ability.  The four-leggeds also spoke of other such talkers, some on the side of the Evil Squirrels.  It was her ability to communicate with the four-leggeds that we were directed towards our hero.

Bad Day Good Day

Even heroes have bad days.  Today was a bad day for your Hero.  The Evil Squirrels almost won.  They sent the mean biters to bite my foot.  And then the Forces of Good made me drink the pink stuff which is really bad.  Your Stars does not like the pink stuff and when he finds the little Squirrels he will bite them.  But the Forces of Good rally around the Stars.  And gave him little nummies and the golden bites of yumminess.  And cheese.  And baby ice creams.  And it became a better day.  And tomorrow, Dr. Thumbs and Rat Child will use their death ray on the bad biters.  Now, if I could just find the Squirrels it would be a perfect day.  I like Mrs. Dash in my tuna fish sandwich.  May I please have another golden bite of yumminess?  Sometimes bad days can become better days, but I like the good days best.

Stars the Mighty

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Heroes Need Theme Songs

Heroes need theme songs.  My theme song is A Little Less Talk A Lot More Action the Remix by Elvis, who was really a Force of Good even if he couldn't find the cheese.  When I hear the theme song I know it is time to play Pink.  The Evil Squirrels do not like theme songs because they do not have any theme songs of their own.  Girl America has a theme song.  It is the golden girl, Supergirl.  It is a fiesty song because she is fiesty.  She makes the Evil Squirrels run screaming for their holes.  When Stars is sad and misses Girl America, he listens to her theme song.  Girl America needs Stars' theme song for when she is sad.  Then she will not be sad because she will think of Pink and cheese and socks and her Stars.  Stars misses Girl America, she is away on a secret assignment to fight the Evil Squirrels in Montana.  Because there are a lot of Evil Squirrels in Montana, almost as many as in the Big City.  But Stars cannot tell you her secret assignment because then it would not be secret and the Evil Squirrels have learned how to use the computer baby.  And even though her Stars knows that she is doing the work of Good, he misses smelling her hair and stealing her socks.  Maybe her Stars needs to send her cheese.  The Evil Squirrels of Montana are in deep trouble.  And Stars laughs.  Now it is time for my nap because I am only 7 and even superheroes need naptimes and then cheese.

Baby Ice Creams

I am eating baby ice creams, the food of heroes.  My Forces of Good are gathering.  Sometimes I find them in strange places, but its the heart that really matters.  Like good cheese, you can tell it by the smell most of the time, but sometimes it is the taste that really gives it away.  I have been resting today, it is too hot, even for the evil squirrels.  Do Evil Squirrels have baby ice creams?  Mental note to self:  guard the baby ice creams, just in case the Evil Squirrels do not have their own. 

Stars the Mighty

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Evil Squirrels

I first became aware of the increasing encroachment of Evil Squirrels during my work at the University.  Despite my attempts to bring such knowledge to light, my colleagues largely were of two minds--either to pretend such did not exist or to obviate the evidence.  In time, those of the latter mind began to become more vocal in their opposition of my attempts.  Eventually, I was forced to retire from my position and continue my work in secret.  However, those who supported the Evil Squirrels were not entirely successful, for it was during my late hours of research that I came across an individual who would prove most useful in the coming days.  I know her only as Rat Child, the Hoarder of Knowledge. 

Together we sought for a force of good, a hero who could battle the Evil Squirrels.  We found Stars the Mighty.