Saturday, August 23, 2008
Today, Ducky joined the Forces of Good. Ducky's name is Weep Weep and he is yellow and orange and he has a big smile because he is a happy ducky. Dr. Thumbs and Rat Child found Ducky. And brought him to Stars and Stars gave him nose kisses. Ducky's best friend is Hippo. Stars thinks maybe they will giggle together in the corner. Stars is eating double cheeseburgers from McDonald's because heroes like double cheeseburgers. Today has been a busy day for the Forces of Good. Rat Child and Dr. Thumbs have been out foraging for the Cause of Good. This is how they found Ducky who is a silly ducky and Hippo likes him because he is silly and they are always giggling. Rat Child said they needed to go find supplies and so out they went and Stars napped while they went. Now they have supplies to fight the Evil Squirrels. And Ducky. Stars says it was a good day.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The raising of Stars has had many interesting and unexpected developments. One can never exactly predict what will happen next. This can be rather disconcerting when one plans for one event yet ends up with a completely different occurrence. Some may say that raising a superhero is something completely different from that of a regular individual, but I would argue that there are far too many similarities. Stars has in turn gone through stages of discovering independence, learning to negotiate with authority figures (something he is much too good at), and developing his sense of humor and imagination. We have discovered his keen sense of right versus wrong and a quickness to pick up patterns and then anticipate the next step within the pattern. One cannot attempt to put such a creative and intelligent individual into a box--especially this one, who has a fondness for tearing them open. Discussions have become more in depth and lively. Today, after Rat Child found a source for canned cheese and butter, we had to discuss the need for patience in waiting for the delivery of an order. While there is always the worry of Evil Squirrels fouling up one's plans or stealing supplies, I presented the idea that perhaps the brown delivery trucks are with the Forces of Good despite the seemingly long wait. Stars, however, believes they are a subdivision of the Evil Squirrels. One could hope to find a book or manual on the proper education and raising of a hero, but so far that has not occurred and we are left to our best efforts. That manual is probably sitting on a shelf somewhere--right next to the manual for being a superhero.
My faithful friend Rat Child has found me cheese because she knows Stars the Mighty needs his cheese. It is special cheese that comes in cans. Not the scary cheese that makes the snake noises and is not really cheese but pretend cheese. But real cheese in cans. This way, Stars the Mighty can have cheese stored in case the Evil Squirrels chew through the power cords and turn off the refrigerator. Rat Child also got a can of butter. So that Stars the Mighty can lick on the butter and see if he likes canned butter. Now Stars the Mighty must wait patiently for his brown truck to give him his cheese and his can of butter. To make sure the brown truck does not forget to give Stars the Mighty his cans of cheese and butter, Stars the Mighty will bark at the brown truck every time it comes near until the brown truck gives him his cheese and butter. Hopefully, the Evil Squirrels will not get to the brown truck first. So Stars will set Hippo and Froggy and Chicken to watch for the brown truck. Stars wants Dr. Thumbs to make a transporter machine to bring him his cheese and butter faster so that Stars does not have to wait for the brown truck to deliver his butter and his cheese or have to worry about the Evil Squirrels getting to the truck first and eating Stars the Mighty's cheese and butter. Stars is giving love to Rat Child for ordering him cheese and butter like a good friend of the hero, Stars the Mighty. Stars is going to ask Dr. Thumbs to give Rat Child chocolate because she has been a Force of Good today, ordering Stars the Mighty cheese and butter. And then Stars the Mighty will have chocolate with his cheese and butter.
Stars the Mighty is sorry that he has kept the Forces of Good in the dark about knowing his superhero adventures. But, your favorite hero is back! Stars' pack has been busy. Stars is eating biscuits. The Evil Squirrels have been quiet. Stars is waiting for the Evil Squirrel to find the sneaky trap that Rat Child has placed for him. Because the Evil Squirrel is nibbling on Dr. Thumbs' secret garden and Dr. Thumbs does not like her zucchini to be nibbled on, especially by Evil Squirrels. These are really tasty biscuits. Stars has these biscuits in his pack. Dr. Thumbs shrunk them in her machine and Rat Child put them in his pack--which is too heavy. Stars still does not have cheese in his pack because Rat Child must buy him canned cheese. But Stars does not know where the canned cheese will fit into his pack because his pack is so heavy. Stars the Mighty will eat the cheese so his pack will not be even more heavy. Dr. Thumbs has good machines. Except the shrinking machine is sometimes not so good because it shrunk Chicken and Stars has not figured out how to save Chicken. It was traumatic for your hero. Poor Chicken is trapped in plastic all shrunken. Dr. Thumbs says if we open the plastic, Chicken will unshrink. Neither Stars or Chicken are very sure. But Chicken now fits in Stars' pack as Rat Child designed. Rat Child should not be left unsupervised with Chicken in the future. Dr. Thumbs says Chicken is waterproof now. Was Chicken supposed to be waterproof? Stars is going to hide Froggy. Stars gives nose-kisses to Chicken from the other side of the pack. And tells Chicken, not to eat his tasty biscuits in there. Chicken says he will not volunteer ever again for Dr. Thumbs' experiments or Rat Child's sneaky pack ideas. Stars does not want to carry any more of the Forces of Good in his pack. What if he rolls on them and they squish? Then the Evil Squirrels will win because the Forces of Good will be squished, like jelly. Stars has not heard from Girl America how the fight with the Evil Squirrels is going in Montana. He hopes Girl America will keep watch over Flynn Brightwing. He does not want Flynn Brightwing squished like jelly, like Chicken. Maybe, Girl America needs reinforcements. Stars will send her Chicken, unshrunken and Hippo. Maybe not Hippo, because Hippo will start giggling and Girl America will start giggling and no Evil Squirrels will be stopped because they will be giggling too loudly to stop them.