Sometimes it's hard to be a hero

The Evil Squirrels of Montana are about to have a very bad week.  Stars almost feels sorry for the Evil Squirrels, but not quite.  Stars the Mighty is sending two of the Forces of Good to provide backup to Girl America.  Because even the strongest of heroes needs backup once in awhile--and furniture.  I am sending Rat Child and The Ranger.  Poor Dr. Thumbs has to stay here in the lab because someone must watch over Stars and keep the Evil Squirrels from eating everybody.  Stars is happy because he loves Dr. Thumbs.  Though Dr. Thumbs might get lonely without Rat Child to get her into trouble.  So Stars will happily take that over with Hippo.  Dr. Thumbs will have her hands full with Hippo and Ducky, the dynamic silly duo.  We will have to tell them silly stories to keep them giggling so they stay out of too much trouble.  We are going to send the covert operative Herman the Anteater to surprise Girl America when she comes into the bathroom with her bunny slippers.  Stars is not sure if she has bunny slippers, but she is Girl America, so she probably does.  And they would be pink.  Stars hopes Girl America does not get Rat Child lost in the mountains.  It is a good thing The Ranger is coming to keep an eye on Girl America and Rat Child so that they do not become silly like Hippo and Ducky because they will want to.  Dr. Thumbs says it is something in their genes, maybe they should check their pockets.  Stars has to give them a secret mission because heroes without secret missions get into too much trouble coming up with stuff on their own.  And so, their mission will be to find new locations for the Forces of Good and to find Stars something fun, maybe some cheese or a new friend for the Forces of Good.  Stars is sad because he is already missing Rat Child and The Ranger, but because Stars is a hero, he must still be sad because otherwise Girl America would be sad when they did not come, so Stars must be a hero and let them come.  It is hard to be a hero sometimes.

A Good Day

Today, Ducky joined the Forces of Good.  Ducky's name is Weep Weep and he is yellow and orange and he has a big smile because he is a happy ducky.  Dr. Thumbs and Rat Child found Ducky.  And brought him to Stars and Stars gave him nose kisses.  Ducky's best friend is Hippo.  Stars thinks maybe they will giggle together in the corner.  Stars is eating double cheeseburgers from McDonald's because heroes like double cheeseburgers.  Today has been a busy day for the Forces of Good.  Rat Child and Dr. Thumbs have been out foraging for the Cause of Good.  This is how they found Ducky who is a silly ducky and Hippo likes him because he is silly and they are always giggling.  Rat Child said they needed to go find supplies and so out they went and Stars napped while they went.  Now they have supplies to fight the Evil Squirrels.  And Ducky.  Stars says it was a good day.

No Manual for Raising a Hero

The raising of Stars has had many interesting and unexpected developments.  One can never exactly predict what will happen next.  This can be rather disconcerting when one plans for one event yet ends up with a completely different occurrence.  Some may say that raising a superhero is something completely different from that of a regular individual, but I would argue that there are far too many similarities.  Stars has in turn gone through stages of discovering independence, learning to negotiate with authority figures (something he is much too good at), and developing his sense of humor and imagination.  We have discovered his keen sense of right versus wrong and a quickness to pick up patterns and then anticipate the next step within the pattern.  One cannot attempt to put such a creative and intelligent individual into a box--especially this one, who has a fondness for tearing them open.  Discussions have become more in depth and lively.  Today, after Rat Child found a source for canned cheese and butter, we had to discuss the need for patience in waiting for the delivery of an order.  While there is always the worry of Evil Squirrels fouling up one's plans or stealing supplies, I presented the idea that perhaps the brown delivery trucks are with the Forces of Good despite the seemingly long wait.  Stars, however, believes they are a subdivision of the Evil Squirrels.  One could hope to find a book or manual on the proper education and raising of a hero, but so far that has not occurred and we are left to our best efforts.  That manual is probably sitting on a shelf somewhere--right next to the manual for being a superhero.

Cheese and Butter

My faithful friend Rat Child has found me cheese because she knows Stars the Mighty needs his cheese.  It is special cheese that comes in cans.  Not the scary cheese that makes the snake noises and is not really cheese but pretend cheese.  But real cheese in cans.  This way, Stars the Mighty can have cheese stored in case the Evil Squirrels chew through the power cords and turn off the refrigerator.  Rat Child also got a can of butter.  So that Stars the Mighty can lick on the butter and see if he likes canned butter.  Now Stars the Mighty must wait patiently for his brown truck to give him his cheese and his can of butter.  To make sure the brown truck does not forget to give Stars the Mighty his cans of cheese and butter, Stars the Mighty will bark at the brown truck every time it comes near until the brown truck gives him his cheese and butter.  Hopefully, the Evil Squirrels will not get to the brown truck first.  So Stars will set Hippo and Froggy and Chicken to watch for the brown truck.  Stars wants Dr. Thumbs to make a transporter machine to bring him his cheese and butter faster so that Stars does not have to wait for the brown truck to deliver his butter and his cheese or have to worry about the Evil Squirrels getting to the truck first and eating Stars the Mighty's cheese and butter.  Stars is giving love to Rat Child for ordering him cheese and butter like a good friend of the hero, Stars the Mighty.  Stars is going to ask Dr. Thumbs to give Rat Child chocolate because she has been a Force of Good today, ordering Stars the Mighty cheese and butter.  And then Stars the Mighty will have chocolate with his cheese and butter.

Squished Chicken

Stars the Mighty is sorry that he has kept the Forces of Good in the dark about knowing his superhero adventures.  But, your favorite hero is back!  Stars' pack has been busy.  Stars is eating biscuits.  The Evil Squirrels have been quiet.  Stars is waiting for the Evil Squirrel to find the sneaky trap that Rat Child has placed for him.  Because the Evil Squirrel is nibbling on Dr. Thumbs' secret garden and Dr. Thumbs does not like her zucchini to be nibbled on, especially by Evil Squirrels.  These are really tasty biscuits.  Stars has these biscuits in his pack.  Dr. Thumbs shrunk them in her machine and Rat Child put them in his pack--which is too heavy.  Stars still does not have cheese in his pack because Rat Child must buy him canned cheese.  But Stars does not know where the canned cheese will fit into his pack because his pack is so heavy.  Stars the Mighty will eat the cheese so his pack will not be even more heavy.  Dr. Thumbs has good machines.  Except the shrinking machine is sometimes not so good because it shrunk Chicken and Stars has not figured out how to save Chicken.  It was traumatic for your hero.  Poor Chicken is trapped in plastic all shrunken.  Dr. Thumbs says if we open the plastic, Chicken will unshrink.  Neither Stars or Chicken are very sure.  But Chicken now fits in Stars' pack as Rat Child designed.  Rat Child should not be left unsupervised with Chicken in the future.  Dr. Thumbs says Chicken is waterproof now.  Was Chicken supposed to be waterproof?  Stars is going to hide Froggy.    Stars gives nose-kisses to Chicken from the other side of the pack.  And tells Chicken, not to eat his tasty biscuits in there.  Chicken says he will not volunteer ever again for Dr. Thumbs' experiments or Rat Child's sneaky pack ideas.  Stars does not want to carry any more of the Forces of Good in his pack.  What if he rolls on them and they squish?  Then the Evil Squirrels will win because the Forces of Good will be squished, like jelly.  Stars has not heard from Girl America how the fight with the Evil Squirrels is going in Montana.  He hopes Girl America will keep watch over Flynn Brightwing.  He does not want Flynn Brightwing squished like jelly, like Chicken.  Maybe, Girl America needs reinforcements.  Stars will send her Chicken, unshrunken and Hippo.  Maybe not Hippo, because Hippo will start giggling and Girl America will start giggling and no Evil Squirrels will be stopped because they will be giggling too loudly to stop them.

Heroes too.

Stars the Mighty is a tired boy.  Yesterday he saved little dogs from bad boys.  And now he is tired.  So he will have meat.  With cheese.  And sleep with his new snuggly blanket.  But now, he is gardening the strawberry PopTarts for Girl America, so Rat Child will not eat them.  Stars ate Rat Child's chocolate PopTarts.  But is saving the strawberry ones for Girl America.  Stars is sad.  Because his Dr. Thumbs is sneezing and sneezing and sneezing.  Dr. Thumbs has a cold.  Stars is sure the Evil Squirrels gave Dr. Thumbs her cold.  Stars' picture came today.  For Grandma who loves The Dog.  Stars is wearing his superhero costume because Grandma thinks The Dog is so cute in his superhero costume.  Dr. Thumbs wanted to keep Grandma's picture because Stars was so handsome.  But Stars said, "No Dr. Thumbs, that is Grandma's picture.  You have me and I will give you kisses.  And you can reorder the print."  Dr. Thumbs has made new creations in her lab of sneakiness to help fight the Evil Squirrels trying to take over the world.  Stars calls them Mushy Babies.  And they are cute.  The Evil Squirrels will not suspect them because they are cute.  Stars thinks that is really sneaky.  And he gives them kisses when Dr. Thumbs is not looking.  Rat Child has been happy.  She has been playing with her pack.  And her pack makes Rat Child happy.  Stars hopes she adds cheese to her pack because Stars knows how to work the zipper.  Now Stars is ready for meaties and a nap.  Because Stars the Mighty, the boy hero, is feeling tired.  Stars tells Dr. Thumbs to reorder the picture of her favorite hero, Stars the Mighty, in his costume.  One for Dr. Thumbs and one for Flynn Brightwing who loves Stars and Stars loves Flynn Brightwing.  She smells good.  And she fights the Evil Squirrls but doesn't know it.  Because everyday people can be heroes too.  And Stars loves everyday heroes because they don't get all the kisses and the happy thoughts that costume heroes get all the time, but they still do the right thing and The Man of Light loves them.

Stars the Mighty

Strawberry Pop Tarts

You know, superheroes like Girl America and Stars the Mighty aren't the only ones who like strawberry pop tarts.  Those of us stuck in cubicles with only florescent lighting to guide our days and nights like them too.  Why I can't even tell you how long it's been since I had a good strawberry or cherry pop tart, heated in a real toaster.  Sigh.  The thing about Superheroes...they get all the adventure, all the cool costumes, the great names, the gadgets, the dreamy boyfriends, the fans, cheese.  Heck, even the attention of a SuperVillain or an evil squirrel would almost be worth it compared to walking through life as a practical non-existent.  Who ever notices the woman in the suit?  No one.  And that's okay I guess.  I mean, honestly, I'm much too busy filing paperwork and meeting deadlines.  But you know, every now and again, it's nice to imagine you could be as cool as someone like Girl America and be on first name basis with Stars the Mighty.  But I guess some are destined to be Superheroes, some Sidekicks, some Team Members or Scientists, some Villians, and some of us the Rescueds or Nonexists Until Needed for Plot Advancement or Flashy Hero Action. 

Still, on a positive note, at least maybe I'd get to meet Girl America or Stars the Mighty and get an autograph.  I am starting a collection to see how many heroes I can get autographs from after getting rescued.  So far I've only managed to get some minor Sidekick pics like Boy Amazing or Blue Ring or Taffy Man, but I've got goals.  Some day, I will meet Stars the Mighty.  How amazingly cool will that be?

Flynn Brightwing