Cheese and Butter

My faithful friend Rat Child has found me cheese because she knows Stars the Mighty needs his cheese.  It is special cheese that comes in cans.  Not the scary cheese that makes the snake noises and is not really cheese but pretend cheese.  But real cheese in cans.  This way, Stars the Mighty can have cheese stored in case the Evil Squirrels chew through the power cords and turn off the refrigerator.  Rat Child also got a can of butter.  So that Stars the Mighty can lick on the butter and see if he likes canned butter.  Now Stars the Mighty must wait patiently for his brown truck to give him his cheese and his can of butter.  To make sure the brown truck does not forget to give Stars the Mighty his cans of cheese and butter, Stars the Mighty will bark at the brown truck every time it comes near until the brown truck gives him his cheese and butter.  Hopefully, the Evil Squirrels will not get to the brown truck first.  So Stars will set Hippo and Froggy and Chicken to watch for the brown truck.  Stars wants Dr. Thumbs to make a transporter machine to bring him his cheese and butter faster so that Stars does not have to wait for the brown truck to deliver his butter and his cheese or have to worry about the Evil Squirrels getting to the truck first and eating Stars the Mighty's cheese and butter.  Stars is giving love to Rat Child for ordering him cheese and butter like a good friend of the hero, Stars the Mighty.  Stars is going to ask Dr. Thumbs to give Rat Child chocolate because she has been a Force of Good today, ordering Stars the Mighty cheese and butter.  And then Stars the Mighty will have chocolate with his cheese and butter.

Squished Chicken

Stars the Mighty is sorry that he has kept the Forces of Good in the dark about knowing his superhero adventures.  But, your favorite hero is back!  Stars' pack has been busy.  Stars is eating biscuits.  The Evil Squirrels have been quiet.  Stars is waiting for the Evil Squirrel to find the sneaky trap that Rat Child has placed for him.  Because the Evil Squirrel is nibbling on Dr. Thumbs' secret garden and Dr. Thumbs does not like her zucchini to be nibbled on, especially by Evil Squirrels.  These are really tasty biscuits.  Stars has these biscuits in his pack.  Dr. Thumbs shrunk them in her machine and Rat Child put them in his pack--which is too heavy.  Stars still does not have cheese in his pack because Rat Child must buy him canned cheese.  But Stars does not know where the canned cheese will fit into his pack because his pack is so heavy.  Stars the Mighty will eat the cheese so his pack will not be even more heavy.  Dr. Thumbs has good machines.  Except the shrinking machine is sometimes not so good because it shrunk Chicken and Stars has not figured out how to save Chicken.  It was traumatic for your hero.  Poor Chicken is trapped in plastic all shrunken.  Dr. Thumbs says if we open the plastic, Chicken will unshrink.  Neither Stars or Chicken are very sure.  But Chicken now fits in Stars' pack as Rat Child designed.  Rat Child should not be left unsupervised with Chicken in the future.  Dr. Thumbs says Chicken is waterproof now.  Was Chicken supposed to be waterproof?  Stars is going to hide Froggy.    Stars gives nose-kisses to Chicken from the other side of the pack.  And tells Chicken, not to eat his tasty biscuits in there.  Chicken says he will not volunteer ever again for Dr. Thumbs' experiments or Rat Child's sneaky pack ideas.  Stars does not want to carry any more of the Forces of Good in his pack.  What if he rolls on them and they squish?  Then the Evil Squirrels will win because the Forces of Good will be squished, like jelly.  Stars has not heard from Girl America how the fight with the Evil Squirrels is going in Montana.  He hopes Girl America will keep watch over Flynn Brightwing.  He does not want Flynn Brightwing squished like jelly, like Chicken.  Maybe, Girl America needs reinforcements.  Stars will send her Chicken, unshrunken and Hippo.  Maybe not Hippo, because Hippo will start giggling and Girl America will start giggling and no Evil Squirrels will be stopped because they will be giggling too loudly to stop them.

The Trials of Properly Equipping A Hero

Rat Child tells him, Heroes need gear.

Rat Child needs gear, he rolls over, Heroes need cheese.

Rat Child pokes him, Heroes fight Evil Squirrels, leap tall buildings, run faster than UPS delivery van thirty minutes before Christmas.  Need gear.

The hero gives dramatic sigh.  Show Stars the pack.

Rat Child gleefully shows him the pack.  Perfectly fitted, aero-dynamic, Evil Squirrel abrasion resistant, and color coordinating with the hero's cape.

He leans forward, sniffing suspiciously.  What is inside?

Rat Child positively dances.  Standard Hero Victory Kit:  cheese, Dr. Thumbs' lucky sock, and Girl America's press picture with autograph.   Sidekick Accessory Pack:  flashlight, handkerchief, cookies.  Rat Child quickly puts it on the hero.

The hero collapses artfully into imitation of roadkill.  Too heavy. 

Rat Child scowls, suspicious.  Gear not too heavy!

Too heavy, groans the hero.  Can't carry.

Rat Child and Stars stare at each other.

Rat Child sighs dramatically.  How fix?

The hero grins.  Stars should eat the cheese.



 

 

Heroes Need Theme Songs

Heroes need theme songs.  My theme song is A Little Less Talk A Lot More Action the Remix by Elvis, who was really a Force of Good even if he couldn't find the cheese.  When I hear the theme song I know it is time to play Pink.  The Evil Squirrels do not like theme songs because they do not have any theme songs of their own.  Girl America has a theme song.  It is the golden girl, Supergirl.  It is a fiesty song because she is fiesty.  She makes the Evil Squirrels run screaming for their holes.  When Stars is sad and misses Girl America, he listens to her theme song.  Girl America needs Stars' theme song for when she is sad.  Then she will not be sad because she will think of Pink and cheese and socks and her Stars.  Stars misses Girl America, she is away on a secret assignment to fight the Evil Squirrels in Montana.  Because there are a lot of Evil Squirrels in Montana, almost as many as in the Big City.  But Stars cannot tell you her secret assignment because then it would not be secret and the Evil Squirrels have learned how to use the computer baby.  And even though her Stars knows that she is doing the work of Good, he misses smelling her hair and stealing her socks.  Maybe her Stars needs to send her cheese.  The Evil Squirrels of Montana are in deep trouble.  And Stars laughs.  Now it is time for my nap because I am only 7 and even superheroes need naptimes and then cheese.